Sometimes I catch myself gettin' all caught up in the daily routine, schedules and actions of others rather than focusing on me. I watch Cason and others I know living their lives and doing what they love while I retract into the vastness of my mind and analyze(sometimes to death) every action I shoulda, coulda and woulda taken. Let me say- this is NOT me reacting to food. I'm just 2% neurotic and 98% too anxious all of the time.
Cason took me down to Savannah last weekend. For the first time that I can recall I truly relaxed. (He tends to have super powers and make magical stuffs happen like this). I sat on a bench watchin' the big ole boats go by and just 'was'. It was freaking awesome!
I realized then(and of course have analyzed ever since) that its
Time to give some value to ME and what I want for myself on this trip called life. It's time to stop looking outside myself for reasons to be in love with this life and just LET. IT.HAPPEN. Sure- this may involve me breaking Southern Belle decorum(sorry Nannie!) And asking for what I want when I want it and going after things I may never have allowed myself
To believe I deserve. Yep. I do believe change is 'a comin'.